The Impact of Being a Gay Man in Executive Leadership: Challenges, Resilience, and the Path Forward

June 2024 - A reflection during Pride Month. As an executive leader, I’ve spent my career in leadership roles, from teaching high school students to serving as a superintendent, and now leading a growing company. Along the way, I’ve always been open about my identity as a gay man. This wasn’t about making a political statement or seeking attention, it was simply about living my truth. But my journey has not been without its challenges. In fact, the unique difficulties I’ve faced as an LGBTQ+ leader have profoundly shaped the way I lead and the decisions I make.

The purpose of sharing this personal story isn’t to highlight struggle, nor is it about positioning myself as a victim. Rather, my goal is to provide insight into the realities of being an openly gay leader in environments that are often slow to accept diversity, particularly in high-level positions. I want to share how these challenges have impacted my leadership journey and, more importantly, how they’ve fueled my growth and the positive change I’ve brought to the organizations I’ve led.

Being openly gay in traditional leadership roles, particularly in rural or conservative settings, comes with both personal and professional obstacles. Research shows that LGBTQ+ executives, like myself, often face bias, exclusion, and limited opportunities for career advancement due to their identities. A 2019 McKinsey & Company study found that LGBTQ+ executives make up only 2% of senior leaders in the U.S., underscoring the underrepresentation and challenges faced by individuals like me. While I’ve often stood as an exception, I have found that the road to top leadership is not paved for LGBTQ+ leaders in the same way it might be for others.

As a leader in a conservative school district, for instance, implementing progressive changes in education wasn’t easy. There were moments when my sexual orientation became a focal point of tension. However, it was never about my identity being the issue, it was about the discomfort of challenging the status quo. The changes I advocated for were in the best interest of the students and the community: higher standards, more inclusivity, and progressive reforms that better served the mission of the school. While some resisted these shifts, my focus was always clear: to create an environment where everyone, regardless of background or identity, could thrive. Yet, even with this clear focus, I often faced resistance not just to the changes but to me as the messenger.

Research confirms that LGBTQ+ leaders are often placed under intense scrutiny. A 2018 Harvard Business Review study pointed out that LGBTQ+ executives sometimes face disproportionate pressure to conform to traditional norms of leadership, which can hinder both personal fulfillment and professional success. In fact, many of us feel the need to hide or minimize our identities to be accepted in high-level roles. The Deloitte 2021 Global Survey revealed that LGBTQ+ executives report higher levels of stress and burnout compared to their non-LGBTQ+ counterparts, with many citing challenges in "fitting in" within organizational cultures. This pressure to conform can negatively impact career longevity, with LGBTQ+ executives often facing shorter tenures than their peers.

But despite these challenges, I’ve never let my identity define my limitations. In fact, being open about who I am has often been the driving force behind my most significant decisions. It has taught me resilience, empathy, and the importance of staying true to one’s values in the face of adversity. In many ways, these experiences have empowered me to lead more effectively, with greater emotional intelligence and an unshakable commitment to my teams and the people we serve. I believe deeply in the importance of authenticity both in my own leadership and in fostering it in others.

The benefits of this approach are evident. Studies show that LGBTQ+ leaders bring unique strengths to the table, particularly in terms of resilience and creativity. According to a 2020 report from Harvard Business Review, LGBTQ+ executives tend to be highly adaptable, innovative, and able to handle adversity with emotional intelligence. These traits are critical to success in today’s rapidly changing business world, where the ability to pivot, lead with empathy, and foster inclusive environments is crucial to driving long-term success.

The purpose of sharing my story is simple: to show that challenges, even those that seem insurmountable, can be the very things that help us grow as leaders. I want other LGBTQ+ individuals to understand that they are not alone in facing these obstacles. Yes, being an openly gay leader comes with its unique set of hurdles. But it also comes with immense opportunities to shape organizations in ways that reflect our most authentic selves; an opportunity I’ve worked tirelessly to embrace.

When we are authentic in our leadership, we create organizations where everyone can thrive. Diverse perspectives, including those shaped by sexual orientation, lead to better decision-making, more innovative solutions, and stronger organizational cultures. I’ve seen firsthand how embracing diversity, not just as a checkbox but as a core organizational value, can drive success and long-term sustainability.

So, to any LGBTQ+ individual reading this who feels like their identity might be a barrier to their success: know this. You have the potential to lead, to create positive change, and to do so with authenticity and integrity. Your identity is not your limitation, it is your strength. Stay true to who you are. Lead from your heart, and know that, no matter the challenges you may face, your unique perspective will always be an asset.

In the end, leadership is not about fitting into a mold , it’s about creating environments where everyone can be their best selves. That’s the legacy I strive to leave behind: a world where diversity is not just accepted but celebrated, and where leadership is defined by authenticity, compassion, and the courage to challenge the status quo.

A Note on Unintended Harm:

It’s important to acknowledge that while many people genuinely want to support LGBTQ+ leaders, they sometimes unknowingly contribute to the very challenges we face. This often happens when support is conditional or overly focused on our identity rather than our leadership abilities.

For example, comments like “You’re so brave to be open about being gay in your position” or “We admire how you handle adversity” may come from a place of goodwill, but they can inadvertently reinforce the notion that our identity is something separate or exceptional. It’s essential to recognize that being openly gay should not be seen as a courageous act but simply a natural state of being, one that doesn’t define or limit our ability to lead. When well-meaning individuals focus too much on our identity in ways that make us feel different, they can unintentionally perpetuate a sense of "otherness," which can be isolating and diminish the value of our contributions.

The most impactful way to support LGBTQ+ leaders, whether you're LGBTQ+ or not, is to treat them as you would any other leader: with respect for their professional abilities, trust in their judgment, and belief in their vision. True support means acknowledging the whole person, not just their identity, and empowering them to succeed based on their skills, leadership, and vision, rather than on the assumption that their journey is more difficult or exceptional simply because of who they are.

So, to those who want to be allies: the most meaningful way you can support LGBTQ+ individuals is by championing their talents and leadership without putting undue focus on their identity. Encourage diversity and inclusion as a core value and recognize the full spectrum of humanity that makes a leader, no matter their sexual orientation.

Ultimately, true support means offering an environment where everyone feels accepted for who they are, not for the challenges they may face because of who they are.

Reflection:

1. How has your personal identity or unique experiences influenced your leadership style and decision-making process?

   
   

2. What strategies can you implement to create a more inclusive and supportive environment for diverse leadership within your organization?

   
   

3. In what ways can embracing authenticity as a leader empower both yourself and those you lead to achieve greater success and fulfillment?

   
   

4. How do you handle challenges related to bias or resistance in your leadership journey, and what lessons have you learned from those experiences?

All content on this blog belongs to the author, Bert Strassburg. If you'd like to share, modify, or distribute anything, please reach out for written permission. Feel free to contact me with any questions at:  bert.strassburg@gmail.com.