Restorative Practices Meet Responsive Teaching: Building Belonging from the Inside Out

March 2025 - Over the years, I’ve come to believe that the most important work we do, whether in a classroom, a care setting, or a management/leadership role, is creating spaces where people feel safe enough to be themselves and supported enough to grow. That doesn’t come from managing behavior or enforcing rules. It comes from cultivating relationships, practicing consistency, and listening closely to what people are really trying to communicate.

I’ve always been drawn to the combination of Restorative Practices and Responsive Teaching (often known as Responsive Classroom). Together, they help create an environment where everyone feels a sense of belonging. And from that foundation, real learning and growth can take place.

Belonging Isn’t an Outcome. It’s an Ongoing Practice.

It’s easy to say we want people to feel like they belong. But belonging isn’t just a feeling. It’s something we build day by day in the way we greet one another, respond to behavior, and include every voice in the conversation. That’s where Responsive Teaching really shines. It offers tools like morning meetings, positive teacher language, and logical consequences to help set a predictable, encouraging tone. These aren’t just techniques. They’re relationship-builders. They tell each person, “You matter here.”

When we slow down enough to be intentional with our words and routines, we create room for connection. And from that place, learning becomes possible, not just academic learning, but emotional and social learning too.

Restorative Practices: Holding Space When Things Go Wrong

Even in the best environments, there are going to be moments of conflict. That’s just part of being human. But what we do in those moments makes all the difference.

Restorative Practices give us a way to navigate tough moments with compassion. They help us shift the focus from “Who’s in trouble?” to “Who was impacted, and how can we make things right?”

Sometimes that looks like a simple affective statement, “I felt hurt when that happened.” Other times, it might be a restorative conversation or a community circle where people can share, listen, and repair. What I love most about this approach is that it doesn’t shame or exclude. It invites people back in. It says, “We believe in your capacity to grow. Let’s work through this together.”

Understanding Behavior as Communication

One thing I’ve learned is that behavior is rarely about the behavior itself. It’s a signal. A message. A clue about something deeper.

Someone might be telling us they’re overwhelmed, confused, scared, or disconnected. They might not have the words, but they have ways of showing us. When we approach those moments with curiosity instead of control, we’re much more likely to find the real need underneath. And when we address that need, we build trust. We help people feel seen.

That’s where Responsive and Restorative work go hand in hand. One helps prevent harm. The other helps repair it. Both help people feel like they belong.

Teaching Thinking, Not Just Compliance

Drawing on Reuven Feuerstein’s Mediated Learning Theory and Yvette Jackson’s Pedagogy of Confidence, I believe every person, regardless of apparent behaviors, has the ability to grow and think more deeply.

Our role then as a teacher or leader, is to help guide that growth. To ask questions like:

• What were you feeling in that moment?

• What helped you shift that feeling to something more calming?

• What might you do differently next time?

  
  

These are the kinds of reflective conversations that don’t just solve a problem. They build internal tools. They help someone develop self-awareness, problem-solving skills, and a sense of agency.

Whether I’m working with students, adults with disabilities, or members of my own team, I’ve seen how powerful it is to shift from fixing behavior to teaching thinking.

Creating Systems That Reflect What We Believe

It’s one thing to believe in belonging. It’s another to design systems that support it.

That’s why I’ve worked to build daily practices into routines, not as extras, but as essentials. Practices like:

• Starting each day with check-ins or community-building circles

• Responding to conflict with restorative conversations

• Modeling calm and reflection, even when emotions run high

• Giving staff the support they need to lead with compassion and clarity

These aren’t magic fixes. But they’re intentional steps that send a clear message, “We’re in this together.”

And when that becomes the culture, everything changes.

Leading With Care

At the end of the day, this work is about people. It’s about how we show up for one another. It’s about how we choose to respond in the messy, human moments and how we model what it means to stay connected, even when things get hard. I’ve seen teams and communities transform when we stop focusing only on what went wrong and start asking, “What can we learn from this?”

It’s not always fast. And it’s not always easy. But it’s worth it.

Because when we lead from a place of trust, empathy, and consistency, we don’t just create better outcomes.

We create communities where people are proud to belong.

Reflection

1. How does my daily routine help people feel safe, connected, and seen?

2. When behavior becomes challenging, do I respond with curiosity or correction?

3. What opportunities do I create for people to reflect, repair, and grow?

4. What does it feel like to belong in the environment I help lead?

All content on this blog belongs to the author, Bert Strassburg. If you'd like to share, modify, or distribute anything, please reach out for written permission. Feel free to contact me with any questions at:  bert.strassburg@gmail.com.